just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
