fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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