Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
