so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
