We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
