how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
