Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
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she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
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I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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