We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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