Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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