11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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