i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
