But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
