I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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