doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
