totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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