Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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