i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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