But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
