that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
