Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
