I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
