I am puke
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
