u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize