you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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