The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
