I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
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He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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