Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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