On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
