Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth

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  (810): ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth http://tfl.nu/99n5
  Replies (10) Good night (649) Bad night (3446)
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  (925): View more from California

  im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?

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  (925): im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going? http://tfl.nu/wvih
  Replies (65) Good night (5164) Bad night (1619)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....

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  (201): Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me".... http://tfl.nu/dlub
  Replies (22) Good night (6671) Bad night (1032)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they

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  (208): its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they http://tfl.nu/pnta
  Replies (44) Good night (800) Bad night (4330)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.

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  (412): I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8. http://tfl.nu/h2aq
  Replies (17) Good night (8451) Bad night (1044)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.

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  (614): she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer. http://tfl.nu/rq7c
  Replies (3) Good night (3744) Bad night (1075)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice

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  (313): Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice http://tfl.nu/wuko
  Replies (11) Good night (3395) Bad night (1104)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?

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  (830): Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas? http://tfl.nu/xrcg
  Replies (7) Good night (1791) Bad night (627)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?

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  (248): Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya? http://tfl.nu/gd64
  Replies (5) Good night (1196) Bad night (500)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.

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  (740): Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves. http://tfl.nu/uw3n
  Replies (11) Good night (1676) Bad night (1069)
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  (760): View more from California

  You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.

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  (760): You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral. http://tfl.nu/a5j3
  Replies (4) Good night (1294) Bad night (491)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.

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  (612): we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day. http://tfl.nu/zhdr
  Replies (6) Good night (1305) Bad night (431)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding

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  (205): i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding http://tfl.nu/mji7
  Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (908)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!

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  (414): At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi! http://tfl.nu/7j12
  Replies (4) Good night (763) Bad night (356)
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  (415): View more from California

  I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high

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  (415): I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high http://tfl.nu/20fs
  Replies (1) Good night (779) Bad night (308)

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