I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
