so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
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He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
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GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
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