You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.