Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start