the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
