We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
