Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
