spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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