Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
