I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
