if you like me you must not know who I am
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
