dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
