Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
