someone owes me an orgasm
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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