did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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