Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
