Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
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you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The feeling are messing with the penis
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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