this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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