I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize