Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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