I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
