so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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