Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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