erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
