Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
