Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
