Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Your topless pictures make me question reality
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
