She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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