i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You took a bar mat shot.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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