Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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