Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He literally asked permission to hit on me
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
