I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize