You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just got carded by a ten year old.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
