im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Your shirt... Was in my pants
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
