brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
