I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
