Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
