i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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