No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
