I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
