um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
