4 words: hood of his car
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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